by Afra Alfalahi
Every life has a story, and each contains chapters with conflicts and plots. However, many people decide to end it early. They realize that they have nothing to write about, and as their ink slowly dries, they tend to give up, break the pen and leave the rest of the pages blank. A young girl was blending her own life even in her own story with the audience. She felt like a side character in her own book, and with fear ensnaring her tongue making her unable to speak, she sat down quietly absorbed in the shadows. She longed to end this story of hers to rip old pages, old regrets, and scribble on the bad memories she had gone through. How just the thought of the upcoming days strangled her every day before she went to sleep. Secretly hoping for a better tomorrow, it was as though she already envisioned the future, and what she saw made falling asleep even harder, not wanting the night to end. She befriended the man in the moon and sang with the stars. She stood by the window, watched the night sky, and kept a close eye on the second star on the right the man in the moon told her about. She hoped Peter Pan would soon show up to take her to Neverland. She felt as though she belonged with the lost boys. Behind all this make-believe, she felt as though there is some reality. The idea of eternity and a never coming future, where she could live forever young put her sound asleep. Waking up seemed even more challenging for her. The evil sun blinded her, and the ever so gray and cold clouds suffocated her. Insomnia has become her only savior, like an owl she only sang when night fell. She blamed her past and worried about the future. Therefore, she relied on the present and shared all her concerns with it. One day the moon decided to disappear, leaving the nights dark as they depend and are illuminated only by the light of celestial objects. She felt troubled and upset and blamed the future for all that had happened. The same day she gathered all the courage to speak up to the past and the future with the help of the present.
…
Dear past, it’s I here
How I long to speak to you
How I really want to hear
What you went through
And what you felt, my dear
The time quickly flew
Dear future, it's I here
I cannot help myself to look at you
And not fear
You’re a mystery, and I have no clue
You seem so far but near
Once you arrive, you don’t accept any undoing
Dear present I am you
And you are me
What we do
Is who we will be
It’s just us two
Can’t you see
The past holds our secret
And the future is our enemy
ready to reveal it
both are breaking us mentally
Can we really quit
Or will things get better eventually
Dear present I also am afraid
Of the mistakes I made previously
And those that will be made
That I will regret immediately
I constantly prayed
For things not to end hideously
Dear present I need you to hear me
I can’t seem to think straight
I’m drowning in my thoughts, can’t you see
And consumed by self-hate
I am begging I am on my knees
I cannot continue to wait
Dear present help out
Why are you not answering my cries?
Do you need me to shout?
All I want is replies
I am starting to doubt
Your promises were all lies
DEAR PRESENT where did you go
Future is near
and past is now our foe
my fear is starting to reappear
it’s holding on to me, not letting go
things are getting really severe
DEAR PRESENT IT'S BACK
Insanity has gotten a hold of me
I feel a rush of panic attack
It’s not letting me free
Everything now is white and black
And right in the corner of my eyes was he
Long arms waving smoothly
Calm voice so alluring
Surprisingly it started to soothe me
It all felt reassuring
I held on to his arms loosely
His eyes seemed so alluring
….
….
….
Dear present, it is I future now
I was he who got a hold of her
It was I who made a vow
To come sooner than later
So, I can remove the wrinkles from her brow
She frowned all the time she thought you were her savior
Dear present, I am merely time
I never come
I do not commit crime
Where I am from
Is most worthy most sublime
Not any kind of dirty city slum
She always feared the future and the past
Little did she realize it was you present
Who harassed her as time passed
You made her feel unpleasant
It was you who asked
To make her life miserable while disguising as a depressant
Dear present, you are yesterday, tomorrow and today
You are the reason behind regrets and soon to be mistakes
You are the one and only thing that will stay
You are the reason the person grows or breaks
You are present every day
All outcomes are from the present choices; it’s you who does not accept retakes
…
As she held future's hand and walked across the unknown path, she looked up to meet the eyes of what she thought was the devil itself. Future, with both tips of his lips reaching closer to his dark beady yet captivating eyes, held out his hands. He walked with her slowly, pacing his long legs with hers into the never-ending abyss. She had so many questions, and he had all the answers. However, instead of telling her, he showed her. Three doors stood firm in front of her, with two of them labeled, past and future, leaving the third door empty. She held on the golden knob of the first door, past, and opened it. The loud creak filled the room and ringed into her ears. Within the door was a montage of her past life. Suddenly she gets a feeling, more than mere reminiscing, but a bittersweet dream, the nostalgia feeling, as though what she saw were lost memories. The innumerable butterflies in her stomach made her feel unpleasant but addicted. It was as though she longed to stay in the past forever. She felt a cold grip on her shoulder and turned to see Future waiting for her to continue their journey. Leaving the past was so difficult for her. With each step, the memories slowly faded. She finally reached and decided to open the door to the future. Unlike the previous door, she trembled and quivered like a fluttering flame of a burning and curious candle just by the thought of looking into the future. She finally gathered all the courage to open it. Rather than the irksome noise she previously heard opening the previous door, this door made a rather symphonic sound. A cold breeze rushed out of the door, and inside was… complete darkness?
…
Mr. Future, why is my future empty?
All I see is darkness, absent of any glint of light
Did something happen to me?
This does not seem right
Do you not agree?
It is a very alarming sight
Little girl, before you come up with any conclusions
Open the third and final door
It will clear up all your confusions
And answer all the questions you had before
I promise I won’t play tricks or illusions
Nothing can hurt you anymore
…
She looked at the third door, confused. Unlike the previous doors, it was incomplete and falling apart. She opened the door and looked inside. The adrenaline feeling had disappeared into thin air as she laid eyes on what seemed like a gift. Uncertain of what was happening, she was perplexed. Leaning towards it, she untangled the knotted beautiful silky ribbon and took the lid off. She took a glance inside the box and saw a reflection of herself. Every move she made it copied; every sound she spoke it copied. She looked back to Future, but he was nowhere to be seen. She stood up and dashed out of the door room. He was nowhere to be found. The thought of her being alone with her thoughts in this cold place made her shudder. Crying for help, not even her echoes replied. She took a deep breath and opened the door to the future once more, and to her surprise, rather than empty darkness, the same gift box was there. Placed the same way she kept it. She went back and forth between the future door and the unknown door, and every action taken in the mysterious room affected the future room. She took a final glance at the mirror in the box and saw Future standing beside her. The wrinkles on her brow suddenly disappeared, replacing them with the biggest smile on her face due to the unexpected feeling of epiphany rushing through her body. She nodded and decided that she was ready to go back. The unknown door shut behind her, and a sudden label appeared on the door, the present.
…
Dear present, it is I once more
I just had a little talk with Future
He showed me things I never knew before
The girl that no one knew her
Has now so much in store
What was once unclear is no more a blur
Dear present, I never knew
That it was you responsible for all the outcomes
I did not have a single clue
All the missing pieces and crumbs
Are all intact now and held with glue
Old enemies, past and future, have become chums
Past is history, and future is destiny
While present is a product of two divisions
Past and future may be present, but no one can see
Since they both are the result of present decisions
It is who I am, not who I was nor who I will be
I should focus on the moment, not memories and visions
I realized present was a gift
And not as bad as I thought you were
Before confronting you, I decided to sift
Through all my emotions, leaving all my wounds to suture
With the help, of course, of the one who gave my mood a lift
It was a little Present from Future
…